


palace within my dreams

by nymeriastarks



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Arguing, M/M, Pointless, man I don't know I just love them, or whatever, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:20:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7139945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriastarks/pseuds/nymeriastarks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>loras and renly argued a lot. </p><p>loras should be used to it by now, but he doubted he could ever brush it off so easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	palace within my dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why but i always end up posting at fuck-me am anyway enjoy this (?)  
> also the title is from the song team by lorde ((which inspired this in the first place and you should totally listen to it because it fits this pairing SO WELL))

loras and renly argued a lot. 

loras should be used to it by now, but he doubted he could ever brush it off so easily. he was terrified of losing renly, and they were both too reckless, too careless. ‘today's the day you'll slip’ he told himself every morning, ‘and when you do, he won't be there to catch you anymore. what will you do then? you won't have the strength to pull yourself up’

almost every day they disagreed on something, something minor. sometimes he wondered how they’d even had gotten together. did they argue this much before? he didn't know. the details of his life without him there had become slightly blurred.  
it'd always lead to yelling at each other like they’d never fallen in love. even when their voices had to be low he felt like there was too much noise in his ears and was convinced he'd pass out right then and there. it was always the same, and it always ended the same, too. they'd stop talking, they'd feel bad, they'd be back for a day or two, and then it'd happen again, and again, and again. 

loras liked to daydream when he was left alone, no renly to keep him grounded. he used it as an escape for all he couldn't handle, and there were no rules in his mind.  
he dreamed of a world where they'd be happy, a universe where they could love freely. a place you'd never know of where they could look outside the window with no fear of someone realizing they were there. a ruined palace that only existed in his mind but really that was enough to make him smile.  
the gods knew it was all he wanted. he'd have left everything, everyone he loved, all he had accomplished if it was possible. he had it all planned, he'd leave at night. he'd hold his hand and they'd walk fearless towards the sea, where one of those gorgeous ships renly liked so much would be waiting for them. it'd swim off and they'd never know of their old life again. it'd fade and they'd miss it but he didn't care. he knew it would be hard, that every step they'd take would be towards their doom, that they'd be found and captured but he still couldn't think of anything that wasn't how gorgeous renly would look with a few drops of water from the restless waves on his face under the pale moonlight. 

on the nights where his bed felt too empty and cold he imagined his lover was about to knock on the door to tell him they were running away. he waited, but no matter for how long he stayed awake, it'd never come. 

he knew it was unrealistic, and it hurt him more than any cut he'd gotten. this one wouldn't close, this one would never just go away. his other world needed release, and he needed it too.  
he looked outside and when he saw the sea a piece from his heart fell and he wished he could just go to renly’s room and take a look at his eyes because he missed them more than he missed anything.

but after every fight he waited for the safety of the routine. he reminded himself renly wouldn't leave, not without him by his side. he knew it'd take a lot more than that. they weren't weak. they were pure and raw and they had so much to learn, yes, but they'd last. he'd make sure.  
they’d always be on the same team, the same page, the same bed.  
and at night loras would lie awake and wish with all his will that someday his dream would come true. he wished for renly and him to disappear among the waves towards a castle made of color and light the next night. he wished for his lover to look at him and smile knowingly and kiss him like it'd happen. and maybe it didn't, and maybe the only waves he'd fade under would be his sheets but he'd forever be grateful for the warm breathing on his neck before drifting to sleep.


End file.
